“as we light a path for others, we naturally light our own way” Mary Ann Radmacher
Do you ever wonder if the changes you make are having a positive effect? The moment you experience the validation that the change you have put in place is working, a wonderful feeling. Some changes produce evidence rather quickly. Dieting for example, you change your eating habits you begin to feel better and you are dropping pounds. Hard evidence. Other changes produce more subtle results. It may take a while especially for a “doubting Thomas” to get the validation we all need – results. My prayer for myself is that I am able to decide on a change I desire to implement and I can stick with it, be all in, regardless of the amount of time it takes to know that it is, in fact, in place. Think of results as what keeps you going, and as time passes your commitment grows stronger. The changes we implement that have the more subtle results require patience. You may need to be even more strident to keep going toward your goal. Eventually you will feel the changes are having an effect. The period of time that passes that seems to be growing long, is exactly where you will need your patience, it needs to be strong. Hang in there.
i have studied this, and true change is designed to take time. I gather it takes twenty-one days for your change to become a habit, for your commitment to become a working change. I go with a month for any change I am working toward to become a reality. Once you see and feel changes are working, of course, that is just what you need. It is an amazing feeling of success when you open yourself up to a new way. I have found when my patience is being tested that visualization is the perfect tool to sustain my commitment. I see myself, feel myself, and I know that I have reached the day where my hard work, commitment and patience have added up to the success we all crave, reaching the goal of change becoming reality.
I have been tested this week. I truly believe that things happen for a reason and occur when it is time. This past Sunday afternoon my ankle felt more numb than ever before. I removed my shoe and sock to check it out. I was surprised to see my ankle was swollen. Had the edema returned? Had I injured my ankle without knowing it? Was something wrong? I know in my heart and with my intellect that I have a great working practice in place. I remained remarkably calm, surprising on so many levels. I will admit I got a bit panicked. I instantaneously assumed the worst case scenario. I thought okay that is a reasonable response. So, I sat with that reaction, I had given myself a break, thinking it is okay, but what else was there? The main thing I am working on in this period of real healing and recovery is the critical element of my perception. I have discussed here in the past that the “events” that blind side us, push us down and knock us off our game are just that. I thought the specifics of the events were not really as important as how we deal with them. How we handle our reaction is that process that has given me solace in the past. Something has happened and I need to deal with it well and things will get better. I learned recently from my therapist, I have been missing a key step in this assessment process. It is simple, but I had completely missed it. It is my perception of events and the most important element of your assessment is it being real and true. Once armed with the truth getting to the process of dealing with what has occurred certainly will be more productive. Please note coming to terms, armed with the truth is not always easy. Take that deep breath and give yourself the time you need to see clearly to what is true and real. If you rush forward to deal with a problem without a clear perception you outcome will be fruitless. I have integrated this step into my process. I am waiting patiently to see if these truths will set me free.
I had an event, and I let myself spiral down to worst case scenario. I have given myself a break for that initial reaction. I take that deep breath and begin to sort it out calmly. I make a clear as assessment of the event, so I may proceed with my true perception. None of us like to consistently sit in reaction to life. It makes us feel powerless, but on the surface allows us to avoid dealing with the event and having to tell ourselves the truth. Lying to ourselves is not an option, it is not healthy and it is the roots of denial. Do not let that denial plant grow and bloom, that is much more difficult to deal with than the truth. The truth will set you free, it allows you to deal with things in real-time. It does not serve us to put things in boxes and store them in the denial attic. That is not healing. That is adding to the problem, not to the solution. Be a part of the solution. This fosters being able to take action, not sitting numbly amid our denial, merely reacting to our events. Taking action, empowering, now that is part of the solution. The most important element is the ability to take that breath, the pause, and getting to the truth you require to move forward. Take the time you need, do not drag your feet. Try it, you will love this change, perception is everything. I discovered something very important to ‘take the time you need’ this past week. My very astute and compassionate therapist pointed out that occasionally in order to cope we need to put events in boxes and temporarily put them in the closet. I resisted this statement, but when she mentioned that eventually the box will press on the door and spill into the room…..well that made sense too. I am a visual learner and visualizing this, it made sense to me. What you may need in real-time is to cope, so taking the time you need may require that you put it in the closet, to deal with it later. When it does spill into the room, you will unpack the box, shake the events out neatly folding them and putting them away closer to being dealt with. This reminded me that it is all a process, the journey unfolds and it just requires that you take the time you need. If this provides you time to cope, I see clearly that this point is well taken.
I have an upcoming appointment with my orthopedic surgeon. A man who, yes is a surgeon, but remains in touch with his humanity, and is a an extremely caring and compassionate physician. I am so grateful to be in his care, he takes very good care of me, I couldn’t ask for better care. I began to wonder should I move my appointment up? There it was again, a little bit of panic. Remember it was Sunday when I noticed the swelling. I had to wait until Monday morning to call the practice. I waited. I called and spoke to the amazing, well-informed woman who holds down the practice like an air traffic controller. You speak with her and things get done and fall into place, she is very good at her job. I told her what was going on and should I come in sooner? I was concerned. She ran a laundry list of why my ankle may be swollen. She helped me gather the information I needed, I asked for her help and she offered good information, but she would check with my doctor and make sure they were on the same page. If he thought it was necessary that I come in sooner she would let me know, if not, I would come to my appointment as scheduled. I assured her I knew what to do, I had become quite an edema expert this past summer. I would begin taking my herbal/vitamin combination to treat my edema. I would treat my ankle daily with hydrotherapy, hot and cold treatment to stimulate circulation, which in turn reduces swelling or edema. What I had gained from speaking from her was a way to think about what was happening. No, I don’t know what is causing it, but I do know how to treat it. Momentarily I became agitated as I was going to have to make room (time) for treating my ankle. The same frustration I had felt in the past reared its ugly head, why do I have to spend so much time and energy addressing my healing? Well I quickly swept those thoughts away, as I know that is an express ticket to a pity party. We have a choice. I continued to sort what was happening. I had collected enough information from my doctor’s office to know there were no red flag disasters ahead. My approaching appointment would work fine. I would proceed to treat my edema/swelling with what I knew worked. I had made it through the tight part in the river, squeezing through the rocks and the rapids, calmer waters were ahead, it felt positive. I was letting go, the truth was setting me free. I continued treating my ankle. Each day the treatments worked, each day the swelling returned as I was up and on it, although sleeping with my leg elevated always resulted in a morning where the swelling was down. I struggled with getting up and getting on with what I liked to be doing during the week. I wanted to have breakfast with my sweet husband, and send him off with his lunch, hugs and kisses. But wait, we put his lunch together, which I usually prep the night before, he said he would pick up a breakfast sandwich at Dunkin Donuts when he stops for his morning coffee. Imagine that? He was perfectly happy (well he does love those sandwiches) and I am fine too. I am dedicating my time to treating my foot. I am pleased with making sure my perception is true. It enables me to take action, being part of the solution. Yes, it may be taking up my time right now, the time is not wasted, it prevents me from sitting in reaction creating more denial. It isn’t always easy, but it is encouraging. The light at the end of the tunnel burns a bit brighter today.
It is a relief, being part of the solution. Seek your truth, fine tune your perception and move forward to deal with whatever has been put on your plate. Find your gratitude and take those baby steps, you must take all of them, they move you forward toward your light. You, like I will be just fine. I promise. I must tell you now what my practice brought me to. A thought as powerful as any of the negative reactions I first experienced. I saw clearly that the swelling could mean that obviously something was happening and changing, could it mean that my nerve was healing? Holy cow! I had received the validation I required to continue, to keep going knowing that I had implemented a change and it was in place, it was working. Pure elation! There is a world of help available to all of us. The big take away for me through the process of implementing this change may be three simple words, “I need help”. I discovered and you will too, that there is no shame in those three simple words. Help will not knock on your door, yet it is waiting for you to ask. A smart person who desires real healing and recovery seeks the truth, uses all the available help, treats all that are there to help very well, and once your perception is true you are free to react in a positive and productive manner becoming part of the solution. The validation is there and you will continue to walk toward your light. We have choices. We are free to experience true healing and recovery. It is there, available to us, I say, “go for it”. Make a change, work hard to implement it, be kind to yourself during the process, realize it is in place, and give yourself credit, you did it! Be sure to take a look back at the path you choose and you will see a clear and smooth way that you traveled, ah, go ahead and realize that you and only you were the one who set up all the barriers along the way. You now know that you can make necessary changes, encourage yourself armed with a clear and truthful perception, you are healing and recovering, because you, my sweet friend, are the only one who can do that. The truth will set you free.
I hope that this finds you feeling well today and in the best of spirits.
Always dazzle, Karen
Photo credit: beautiful picture, photographer unknown.